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Parenting is Life

It’s definitely been awhile since we have updated our parenting experiences. Between our jobs and watching our little one grow, we just haven’t been able to find the time until now. She’s napping so we have about 30 minutes.

So much has changed since our last post. At this point our little one just turned 15 months and she is a ball of energy.

It’s amazing to think that in 15 months she went from a bottle every two or three hours and sleeping most of the day to two naps a day to three bottles a day and tearing the house apart throughout the day as she walks around placing her toys all over.

She is such a great girl but I’m sure like any child, she has her moments. Most of the time she is smiling, laughing and having a good old time. Then comes the witching hour which starts anytime after 4:30pm. It is at this point she becomes clingy and only wants to be held. She will throw fits and get upset mort easily around this time if things don’t go her way.

We try not to give in to her demands but sometimes we just feel like we have to. I admit that sometimes it isn’t a bad thing because all she wants to do is snuggle which is better than chasing her around as she tries to climb on everything and pull down anything she can reach.

In public she can be a trip. Apparently, she isn’t always a fan of people approaching her. It seems when people don’t pay attention, she demands their attention and will get it with a thunderous hi followed by a wave and a smile when she gets someone’s attention.

She loves going out and walking around the block.  Unless she is having her bottle, doesn’t always seem interested in screen time. That is unless Coco Melon is on. At this point we know all the songs and sing along.

As far as speaking, she does say some words but is not speaking in sentences yet. And then there are words she tries to say but just hasn’t figured out yet. For example, “Ahhh” is Alexa. She likes when we use the Alexa app called Zoo Keeper which plays animal sounds on demand. Her favorites are the Cow and Sheep, both of which she knows along with a cat and dog.

Overall, she is absolutely awesome and we are so proud of her.

As first time parents, we are still learning. That will be a never ending experience as she grows and gets older. There are moments where we get frustrated, especially when she eats. In a perfect world a child would tuck a napkin into their shirt and eat with no mess.

In the real world, it is a messy affair in which food ends up all over the floor, table, face, hands, hair, you get the picture. It is just part of the growing process and anyone who gets frustrated with this just needs too remember, this is all normal albeit a bit annoying.

And then there are the times you wish that when you say no or stop they just do but that doesn’t always happen. In time that changes slowly. At first we would give her yogurt or applesauce pouches and she would simply throw it on the floor and proclaim, “Done”.

Took a bit but now a days she still proclaims done but actually takes the pouch and puts it in the garbage.

Once she started doing that I realized everything is temporary and as she grows and learns, her ways will change and all will be good.

Don’t think we need to say this but obviously parenting is a 24/7 job. Some days are easy and some days not so easy but with each passing day and each new skill learned it is truly rewarding.

To be able to look at her and say we made her is unbelievable. We are proud of what we made and the job we are doing.

Well, she is waking up here so time to cut this short. We will write again and try to update more frequently as we find our groove. Thanks for reading.

Finding Our Parenting Groove – Learning as We Go

When people told us to enjoy our sleep while we could before our baby arrived I think we took it lightly.

I won’t speak for Judy but for myself I can say the one thing I didn’t consider or read about was the feeding schedule for the first few months after a child is born.

Our doc said to feed her every two to three hours which means for sure one of us are waking up multiple times through the night.

Before I go any further, let me just state, this is in no way w complaint. While we are both tired and one of us is sleep deprived multiple days of the week, we know it is necessary and we are giving our little one lots of caring and love. Plus it’s a great excuse to just hold her and stare at the beauty we created.

But… there is always a concern that we may sleep through a scheduled feeding and miss it. I can honestly say I was late for one or two by maybe an hour. Hailey wasn’t up crying though and if she was I am sure that would have woken me up.

Only issue we see when we let her sleep longer than two hours is she is harder to put back to sleep and can be fussy when we try to do so. Just like most of us who get a good amount of sleep and wake up feeling productive, she feels the same on three to four hours of sleep. If only four hours was enough for us.

Overall I think we have been really good about her schedule. We keep a log on our fridge so we know when she was fed, how much she was fed as well as what she gifted us in her diaper. All things that our important to keep track of.

We take turns on who will get the restless night and be on baby duty so it works out somewhat. Not going to lie, we are both tired but it truly is the best tired I can think of.

Two nights ago I got about two hours of sleep total and had to work. Thankfully I am still working from home so commuting wasn’t an issue. The idea was the minute I signed off work I would go to sleep. That actually didn’t happen because Hailey gives me so much energy when I am dead tired.

I did end up crashing out on the recliner around 11pm or so and Judy was on baby duty through the night. I really thought I would wake up to relieve Judy but she did such a good job, I heard very little crying and knew everything was under control.

We are still trying to figure out how much to feed Hailey as that is not so consistent but at the same time it is. Some feedings she has about 60 to 70ml, then others she may have 100, then the next she will only have 30ml.

The amounts through the day are not consistent but when you total all the amounts through the last 24 hours, the amounts are consistent with a slight uptick every other day.

As for changings, we were concerned for a few days because she went from pooping five to eight times a day to two a day. We did change her formula and think that may have been the reason since we have now switched back and she has been going more.

As first time parents, everyday is a learning experience and you can read every book about caring for a baby there is. At the end of the day your baby is unique and you just have to learn their specific signals and follow. I feel like most of the stuff I read and made me feel ready has been tossed out the window and I am simply letting Hailey teach me.

Also as any parent would be, you are concerned for baby’s health. The other day she started forming a crust on one of her eyes. At first we weren’t concerned but then it seemed to get worse. Judy scheduled a telehealth appointment with our doc who was able to determine it to be a blocked tear duct and recommended we use saline drops in her nose and gently massage the area around the tear duct.

Thankfully with the saline alone, it appears the eye has cleared up and all is well. Haven’t seen any issues with it through today so we are relieved.

All in all, I believe we are doing a great job and have been learning each and every day. Our girl is simply amazing. She may have a crying fit from time to time but overall she has not been too fussy and we are thankful for that.

It’s hard to believe she has been with us for two weeks already. While two weeks may seem like a short time to some, looking back at our journey to when we first met with our fertility doc, it seemed like time stood still up until the day she was born.

While she came about a week and three days sooner than we expected, I must admit, I am glad she did. I feel like I got an extra week to see her, get to know her and most importantly love her.

All I keep thinking is how wonderful parenthood is and how blessed we are to have her in our lives. We didn’t know what the outcome would be after two miscarriages and I must admit, I was worried about IVF not working after seeing many peoples experiences.

My heart goes out to those who struggle and wish each and every person struggling is blessed with a child of their own. While the process of IVF is not easy, when it pays off it pays off big time.

For two weeks now we have witnessed the miracle that is our daughter and look forward to watching her grow while we do our best to instill values and morals so that she grows up to be a decent kind giving woman. That is now our goal and purpose in life but first, daddy has to learn to stop cursing. Using the F word to describe something isn’t necessary but it is how we spoke on the streets growing up in Brooklyn. Yeah, that’s my excuse but it is something I am working on so she doesn’t grow up hearing it. Wish me F’n luck on that. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂


Week 16 and Built up thoughts

So here we are in week 16. Baby bump continues to grow and we are feeling good. At times Judy says she thinks she feels the baby moving but is unsure and can not really describe what she is feeling but she is feeling something happening.

She’s feeling good this week as we wait in anticipation for our appointment next Wednesday.

As for time, for me it feels like it is going both fast and slow. I look back and say I can’t believe how long ago it was when we had our first consultation with our IVF doctor since it feels like just yesterday we were sitting in that office.

Then I look ahead and say I wish our due date would hurry up and get here so we can start spoiling our little princess.

As a soon to be first time dad, I cannot tell you how excited I am. I’m ready to do all the girlie things our daughter may want to do, tea parties, playing with dolls, etc….

I also realize the importance of my roll in her life. She may look for someone similar to me when she is growing up when choosing a partner in life. Because of this both me and Judy will have to teach her the importance of both respecting others as well as being respected.

I was raised by my mother and grandmother and didn’t have the luxury of having a father figure in my life for the first eight years or so. They had to take the roles of mom, dad and grandma and in doing so showed me how to be a good man.

I was blessed by having my stepdad come into my life even though it was later who strengthened what my mom and grandmother taught me about being a man, but also how to love as a father.

While I am sure we will have our learning curves as we will be learning how to be parents along the way, I am sure we will figure it out. The key is the love and affection we have for our princess.

While I didn’t have the father figure for the first few years, my mom and grandmother had nothing but love for me while teaching me how to be a good man. If these two great women could teach me how to be a good man, then I should be able to figure out how to teach our baby how to grow to be a good woman.

As long as she turns out like Judy, then we will have done everything right. Not saying that if she turns out like me it would be bad, but if she does we may have to expect some calls from her school from time to time. Lmao

So yeah, excited is an understatement. Words can not explain the feelings I have been having.

Having lost my mom in September I know I was down. I miss the hell out of her as she was always there for me and now she is not. It all happened in a snap and I wasn’t prepared. We were smack in the middle of our IVF treatment when my mom passed having already scheduled the egg retrieval on what turned out to be 3 days after my mom passed.

The thing that got me most was my buddy was doing work fixing up my my apartment over the past few months so we could rent it out. While he was working he called me and told me he heard my moms voice out of nowhere and she told him it is a girl. This was before we found out so I truly believe she did reach out to him to let him know so he can tell us and let us know she is watching over us. It is really beautiful to think about considering my mom was always a giving person and continues to give after she is gone.

While I was feeling down after losing my mom, the day I found out we were having a girl, my sadness turned to joy and excitement considering the experience my friend had with my mom.

I can’t give my mom all the credit as I know she has teamed up with Judys mom to help us and watch over us. The two of them together make for an unstoppable force so I feel like we are in great shape even though I really wish both were with us so our princess would see how amazing her grandmas are.

At 16 weeks all is good, life is good, and we can not wait for our baby girl to come into this world. We love her sight unseen and know life is going to get so much better.

Thanks for sticking through this read. I know it was long and I may not be the greatest writer, but this is all very therapeutic for me as it enables me to share thoughts that I can’t always bring out when speaking and gives me a sense that our posts may help at least one person who shares in similar experiences.


IVF update

Wife went to the doc the other day and so far so good as we approach implantation day in about 2 or 3 weeks.

This process has been so long and as much as we are staying positive it is still a little nerve wracking.

I’m in the belief that this will happen and when it does we will be amazing parents. I am sure I may be tough at times but I am also sure I may spoil our child just as my mom did to me when I was a kid.

Raised by my mom and my grandmother, mom would spoil me and grandma would discipline me. I grew up in a good cop bad cop scenario as you can see.

I think it may be a similar situation with us raising our child. Not a bad thing whatsoever to balance discipline and reward. I like to think that I turned out great but Judy may say great is an overstatement.

It is when you lean to far one way that I feel issues arise.

So with that update we ask that you keep us in your thoughts and prayers and send positive vibes our way. My catchphrase through this has been positive thoughts for positive results so all positivity sent our way is much appreciated.